In a world focused on whats next and whose best, its not uncommon to become entrenched in our professional persona.
Whilst our professional identity can deliver us a self congratulatory sense of purpose and accomplishment, it can also send us into emotional distress, burnout and a disconnection from our true self. Busyness is often an unspoken and unconscious coda for avoidance and fear.
Buddhist informed therapy and coaching can offer a unique perspective and practical techniques to address this issue, help build self-awareness, compassion, and provide space for you to reconsider who your are and what constitutes a balanced life — for you.
What is over-identification?
Over-identification happens when you merge your sense of value, self-worth, and identity with your professional role. Examples are “if I am not a (insert profession or title) I am nothing!” or “without my business card I don’t matter!” Constantly seeking others validation, defining your worth based on your salary or your professional achievements, means you are likely neglecting personal relationships, and care of your mental and physical health.
Over time, this leads to inauthenticity, stress, and burnout — essentially, life sucks!
Over-identification with any aspect of your life, including your work role, is a form of attachment and suffering.
The Solution? Practical Tools to Consider
To reconnect with your authentic self and create the life you want, here are a few paths to explore:
Mindfulness: Developing moment-to-moment awareness of thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, enables a recognition and noticing of your patterns — notice when your role at work matters more than “date night” or the “school concert” or when you prioritize your ‘work being’ over your wellbeing!
Its time to pause. Step back and observe the drama your over identification causes — without judgement. Learn to be the witness, not the drama, and cultivate a new perspective.
Self-Compassion: Ask yourself — am I treating myself or talking to myself with loving kindness — or am I my worst enemy? By learning to practice self-compassion (“I am my own best friend”) and acceptance you can begin to “make friends” with your limitations, mistakes, and vulnerabilities. Remember — self worth comes from within. Other worth (external validation) puts your value into a strangers hands — that’s risky business at best!
Embracing Impermanence: Recognition and acceptance that our professional successes and failures ebb and flow, helps us to detach from our rigid identities. By embracing this impermanence, we can find freedom in accepting change, adaptability, and a broader perspective on our personal and professional journey.
Integrating Work-Life Balance: Integration of work and personal life, finding work that mirrors what you love, rather than creating separate entities enables flow. Identify and cultivate activities and work that bring joy, fulfilment, and a sense of purpose. Ideally, neither should impinge on the other.
Cultivating Interconnectedness: Buddhism teaches the interconnectedness of all beings. In recognizing the shared nature of our human experience, we can develop empathy and compassion for others, including colleagues and clients, as fellow humans. This shift in perspective helps us to alleviate the pressure to constantly proving oneself and fosters a sense of being part of, rather than separate from, our work, and our life.